As I’m sitting here staring at my computer screen, trying to figure out the steps I need to take to get to where I hope to eventually be, I find myself distracted. Maybe ‘distracted’ isn’t the right word, but it will do for now. I have a jumble of thoughts that I want to share with the world. I have so many different things that I want to accomplish. Thinking about all of these things energizes me. It motivates me. it excites me. It brings me joy. I tend to look at the big picture and then I like to break it down into smaller, more achievable day to day tasks. Hence the name of my blog, “Day by Day”. Even after breaking it all down, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed at times. My mind becomes bombarded with questions and doubts. “You’re just one person, how do you expect to achieve your goals?”, “You’re dreaming way too big for a girl like yourself”, “What about [this] or [that]?” On top of those doubts, there are also the opinions of others who put me down, sometimes without even realizing it. They’ll make a comment such as, “What you post on [insert social media here] is annoying, that’s not what [insert social media here] is for” or, my personal favorite, “I assume you just sit there and don’t speak up.” I’ve been getting the first one more recently, and I’ve gotten the second one my entire life (more commonly in people who have known me from a younger age.)
I’m not quite sure why people complain about social media. First of all, no one is forcing you to be apart of anything they post, blog, tweet, or instagram. There’s nothing that states that you have to do something simply because someone put it up on social media, it doesn’t hurt anyone (unless it’s offensive in some way), and believe it or not, you will survive without posting a negative comment about something that someone posts (I know, crazy.) What it comes down to is this: social media can be a wonderful resource and it’s something that people should take advantage of if they find it helpful in sharing any ideas they may have, cool products/articles/videos they want to share with the world, and so on.
And now for my personal favorite, “I assume you just sit there and don’t speak up.” A few months ago, I believe it was in December for Christmas break, I was talking to an awesome (adult) friend of mine about how I was having a pretty difficult time adjusting to my new situation, along with being a transfer student. Sometime during that conversation this person said those words to me. Now, he/she didn’t mean it to be offensive or to put me down at all and for the record, I’m not angry at this person one bit. But at that moment, I realized something huge. I realized that I have this label of being “the quiet girl”. I also realized that this label, along with others that have impacted the way I act and see myself, has held me back in a lot of ways. It was after I got home and had been processing what this person had said to me just a few short hours ago when I realized that I didn’t want to let these things have such a stronghold on my life anymore. I realized that just because people from my hometown know me as “the quiet girl”, doesn’t mean I have to live with the weight of that label. It doesn’t mean that I HAVE to always be “the quiet girl” and it doesn’t mean that I can’t do big things and make an impact.
That was a very freeing moment in my life. My sophomore year of college (which, by the way, will be over in a few short months–EEEEP!) has been one big “freeing moment.” Relationships have been healed, wounds from a past relationship have been given closure, and that certain kind of joy that shined through me as a young girl is finally finding it’s way back into my life. Even though classes are challenging, schedules are absolutely insane, and I’m in the process of possibly changing my major (I know, ScArY. What in the world am I doing!?).. I can sit here with a smile on my face because even though life is chaotic, confusing, and sometimes hurtful, it’s also enjoyable, challenging, and the most EXCITING thing EVER!
And that folks, is my rant of the evening.