A note to the guys

Dear guys,

This is something that many of you have heard before. But it’s also something that I don’t think is heard enough. It’s something that might not be taken as seriously as it should, and seems to be overlooked by too many of you. It’s something that is dear to my heart, and I hope it is, or will be, dear to yours too. I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to get my words across, but please be patient with me as I try to do just that.

Guys and girls were created differently. I know people who won’t agree with me, or who will be offended by me saying that, but this is what I believe. In Genesis 2:7 we read, “Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Along with that, in Genesis 2:22 it states, “Then the Lord made a woman from the rib he had taken out from the man, and he brought her to the man.” So right off the bat, we know that there is a difference. One big difference between us are our emotions. Now, I realize that there are a bunch of studies and scientific reasoning/fact behind all of this, but I’m not a science person so I’m not gonna go there. Also, I’m not saying that men don’t have emotions. I know that they do. But there is just something about the heart/emotions of a women.

Women tend to be more nurturing than men. We get attached and we care so deeply about the people who come into our lives. Women are sensitive (yes, some more than others..but none the less, we’re sensitive). I don’t think this is something that all of us like to admit, but it’s simply the truth. This is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength and it’s what makes a woman, a woman. The differences between men and women compliment each other beautifully and I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of. Some of us try to deny it, or we ignore it all together, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are sensitive and nurturing. A woman’s heart is precious and fragile. Specifically, when we make the decision to hand it over to a man, even just bits and pieces, it’s incredibly painful if he decides he doesn’t want it anymore. I know we can’t expect you guys to fully understand what that’s like for a girl, but you have no idea how big of a favor it would be if you, as men, would be more sensitive and considerate of this.

We’ve all seen it or have experienced it. A guy will come into a girl’s life and show interest in her. She’s interesting, and he’s curious. The girl is careful. The guy says all the right things. She feels safe and continues to give more of herself to this guy. He continues to pursue her. Things seem to be going well. Suddenly, you reach a point where he begins to lose interest. He leaves. She doesn’t understand. She’s crushed.

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I know this isn’t always the case, but a lot of the times it is. I can only speak for myself, but it seems like, for many of you guys, it’s “all about the chase”. I’m not sure if you even realize it all of the time. Honestly, I think that many of you have really good intentions when you begin to pursue a girl (and for those of you who don’t.. give it up and save her the trouble.. really). But I think that many of you mean what you say in those “moments” and I believe that those feelings are real. That’s what makes it so hard though. Because you feel like you might love her and you really do care about her at that time, so you kiss her. Or hold her hand. Or make promises/say things hinting at a “forever”. But then you see a side of her that you didn’t know before. Something happens that makes you not want to work at the relationship. You get bored because the chase is over, so you stop caring. Or you realize that you have things in your personal life that you need to figure out before you can pursue her, or any girl for that matter. So you leave it all behind. All the words said and moments shared. And it hurts and is confusing. Because even though you feel like you’re doing the right thing for yourself, there is no way for you to take back the emotional and physical connections you two have shared with each other.

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I just ask that you guys really be careful when it comes to this stuff. It’s easier than you realize for us girls to become emotionally attached! I ask that the next time you’re about to say something to a girl that could potentially cause her to become emotionally involved. And the next time you’re about to hold her hand, or kiss her, or stare into her eyes. Please take a step back and think long and hard about whether it’s necessary or not. It’s much easier said than done, but it’s so important and so worth it. Because the only man I want to give me those feelings. The only man who SHOULD be giving me those feelings. Is the man who I will spend the rest of my life with. And guys, until you commit to choosing her, please do your best to protect your heart and hers.

I don’t want to seem like I’m hating on all you guys out there, because I’m not. You guys are awesome and I appreciate so many of you! Even those who have hurt me I can appreciate in some ways because of how God will use that in my life. I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty or horrible. I just feel like we all need to be more thoughtful and intentional when it comes to relationships. And for the record, this goes for myself also. It goes both ways, and sometimes it’s the girl who is, intentionally or unintentionally, ‘playing’ with a guys heart. I guess what it really comes down to is that we all need to be careful. 

Because it matters and because I care,

Em

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