Plot Twist: She Makes an Anti-Bucket List

Most people talk about bucket lists, right? What about an anti-bucket list? Yeah, I have one. And Yeah, I’m gonna share it with you. Why? Because I feel like it. And seriously, why not? Don’t get me wrong, I love a good bucket list. I’m all for carpeing every diem! But there are some things that I’d be ok not experiencing in my lifetime.

So here it is, My “things I hope I’ll never do” list:

1. Own a bird.

You could not pay me enough to even consider ever owning a bird. Nope, not happening. Ever. I’ve had more than one traumatic experience with those little satans and, not to mention, the countless nightmares of flocks of birds pecking me to death during my childhood. Yeah, no.

2. Be a diehard fan of “The Bachelor.”

I’ve tried to get into it, I really have. I just can’t. Does anybody feel me?

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3. Be hypnotized.

The idea of somebody getting into my subconsciousness is terrifying, quite frankly.

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4. Hook up with someone.

Why?

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5. Wear high waisted shorts.

You’re welcome!

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(P.s. I REALLY hope you guys have seen “Project Runway” because then you know how funny this picture is)

6. Take my future children to Chuck E Cheese.

If any of my childhood friends are reading this, they know fully well how many birthday parties of mine and my sister’s were spent at this God-forsaken place. And although I loved it at the time, I see it for what it really is now and I am so sorry. It’s gross, dirty, sweaty, germy, and smells funny. Unless you want to get Ebola, stay as far away as humanly possible. Or further.

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7.  Ask my man to wear a matching outfit.

No, I do not have a man at the moment. But when I do, he can rejoice in the fact that I will NEVER ask him to match what I’m wearing. If it happens on it’s own, whatever. But to do it on purpose.. I understand that some people find this to be cute, and that’s great for you! But I am not you. So there’s that.

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8. Keep toxic people in my life.

Been there. Done that. Never again. It’s exhausting and completely unnecessary.

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9. Drink soda.

First of all, never have i ever enjoyed drinking it. Second of all, it’s one of the worst possible things to put into your body. If you enjoy rotted teeth and acidic poison eating away at your bones and doing horrible things for your body, then please don’t let me stop you. Seriously though, Ew.

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10. Hate social media.

I definitely see how it has it’s downfalls. And I’ve watched it effect people in negative ways. But instead of being negative toward it, why not step back and see how far we’ve come and how incredible and mind blowing social media is today. Pictures are great! I LOVE when people post pictures.. of almost anything quite frankly. If someone wants to post a selfie, calm down and let them post a selfie, or a meal they ate, or whatever it may be. There is nothing wrong with that.Tweets can be funny, inspiring, deep, witty, angry.. there’s also nothing wrong with people expressing themselves on THEIR twitter. You can say whatever you want to say, and so can everyone else. No need to judge. This is the 21st century. We have so many ways to communicate, share things, and express ourselves. We should be excited and thankful! That video on YouTube that’s gone viral about what social media is doing to people, “Low Battery”.. It’s an awesome and inspiring video. I’m a sucker for inspirational/motivational videos with cool voices and such! “Low Battery” is true in many ways. But at the same time, I don’t completely agree with it. If used correctly, social media is freaking incredible. So incredible that we can change the world with it. We already have. I should write a blog about this topic because clearly it gets me heated and I should explain myself better.

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There you have it. A list of things I’d rather avoid. What’s on your anti-bucket list?

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