Because Love

With social media and how texting has become such a regular way to communicate, we have more access to people than ever before. We are seeing them in a different light, and it’s not all bad, but sometimes it’s a little scary. Especially when it comes to relationships. One thing I’m happy about is the way I view relationships. I’m glad that I won’t hook up with people. I’m glad that I’m not what people call “easy”. I’m glad that I have zero desire to date someone for the sake of dating. It’s hard in today’s culture. Like, really hard. Hooking up has become the new norm. Talking to multiple people of interest is a regular thing. The fact that I’m waiting to have sex with the man I marry, and not until after I marry him, is not the popular thing to do. But it’s what I want and it’s what I believe my future husband deserves, so I’m sticking to it.

The reason I’m not easy is because I want to make sure that the person I’m with is committed and willing to stay. This has caused great heartache on my end. It has caused me to stay in relationships for far too long with the wrong person because I compromised or overlooked things I shouldn’t have. But I’ve learned from that and I know better now. It has caused me to be incredibly disappointed in the person who allowed me to believe he wanted to be my “forever” only to have my heart torn to pieces out of the blue. But I’ve grown from that and have seen people’s true colors. After experiencing the heartache that I’ve had, I realized that I had to make a choice. I could either choose to close myself off from relationships, or I could choose to keep my desire/belief for commitment but be smarter about it. I chose the second option. I chose the second option because I don’t want to change who I am. I want to believe that I can trust people. I want to believe that one day, my passion and commitment to the guy I date will pay off. I want to believe that there is someone out there who I’m going to fall madly in love with, and he won’t leave me. Or vice-versa. Maybe it’s crazy, maybe I’m too much of a hopeless romantic, but I’ll take it as a compliment rather than a weakness or a weird flaw.

When I choose to love someone, it’s all or nothing. That’s who I am and that’s how I always want it to be. The beauty of commitment is kind of gone. Not completely, but sometimes it seems that way. So many of us are scared of the C word, and understandably so. But I have to believe that there are people out there who feel the same way as I do about relationships. I have to believe that there are other people who want to have that one person. Just one. And stay with them no matter what. I have to believe that commitment is not dead. Because how amazing does it sound to be with someone for the rest of your life. How beautiful of a thing is that? It’s incredible and amazing and it truly is the closest thing we have to magic. Here’s a list of ways to stay committed to that person in your life:

1. Accept the fact that you will always find others attractive. It’s not a crime to see someone and think they’re attractive. In fact, it’s perfectly normal and unavoidable. What matters most is deciding that you will not act on this attraction if you are already in a relationship with another person. And once you’ve decided that, commit to it. Once you’ve been with the same person for a certain amount of time, they won’t be a mystery as they once were. But think about how much they’ve been through with you, how your souls are connected, how they’re always there for you, and how at one time they were just as mysterious as that stranger you’re stocking on instagram.

2. Understand why you love that person and what made you fall so hard for them. Always remember what that person means to you and how horrible it would be to lose him or her. Relationships take work and they aren’t going to be cute, fun, or easy going all of the time. Relationships include being annoyed, frustrated, and irritated too. What it comes down to is two people choosing to stick it through despite how they may feel at times. Unless the relationship is toxic or emotionally/physically abusive, don’t give up. Also, don’t decide to make it “official” without the two of you being positive that you are committed to each other. It’s hard to tell sometimes, but just give it time and be honest with them and with yourself, and you’ll figure it out eventually. If you aren’t committed, or especially if you aren’t ready for a commitment, then don’t waste your time or the other person’s time with the games. At least for me, those “games” aren’t fun anymore.

3. Always stay passionate. Passion is the difference between the way you love your friends/family, and the way you love that special person in your life. Never stop trying to impress your person. Don’t ever make them feel like one of your “buds”.

4. Don’t text/snapchat/social media stock people of the opposite sex like you did when you were single. If you want to stay loyal, then just stay loyal and stop liking all of their tweets, instagram pictures, or Facebook posts. It’s as simple as that. It’s a choice and there is no valid or good excuse not to. There is such a thing as being too controlling though. It’s ok to talk to, interact with, and be friends with people of the opposite sex even while you’re in a relationship. If the person you’re with freaks out about it and tries to tell you that you can’t look at, breath the same air as, or think about other people… run away. Like, now. Just make sure that you don’t say/do the same things you say/do with your girl/boy friend. And make sure that if your person honestly doesn’t want you talking to a certain person, if they have valid reasons, respect that. Because they are probably more important than you snap chatting or liking that instagram pic. And if they aren’t, then why are you with them?

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