You can.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist”

-Oscar Wilde

Being human, we all have those things that irritate us.We have things that set us off and make us go berzerk (yes, that’s a word. At least Eminem thinks so.) Some of us may be more patient than others, but I don’t think there’s anyone who can honestly say that nothing bothers them.

Disclaimer: If you actually can say that with 100% honesty, then please give me a call because you, my friend, are a freak of nature in the best of ways and I need to learn from you.

Most of us, myself included, could come up with a rather lengthy list of all the things that get under our skin. It’s really quite easy. What might be a little more of a challenge is narrowing this list down to only one thing. The one thing that is the most frustrating to you. The king of all frustrations, if you will.

For me, it didn’t take long to know exactly what that “one thing” was. It is something that I care about. It’s something that I want to change. It’s something that I try to get people to stop believing/saying. When I hear someone say it, I want to go off on them and help them to see how wrong that way of thinking is. I want to change this way of thinking because it’s completely absurd and unhelpful. It’s destructive and it’s cutting so many people short.

It’s when people say, “I wish I…”

Newsflash: YOU CAN. (Crazy, right? I hope you’re sitting down for this.)

Maybe I’m wrong (I’m not actually wrong), but I believe that every single person wants to live a fulfilling life. I believe that each one of us has this desire to be the best versions of ourselves. We all might have different interests and experiences that make us who we are, but each of us has things we hope to accomplish, or “wish” we “could” accomplish.

Now, I don’t think that anybody can do just anything. And I don’t say that to sound like some horrible dream-snatcher coming to crush all of your life ambitions. I’m saying that because it’s realistic and being realistic is crucial in order to succeed.

Example: I’m a terrible singer. If I were to decide that I wanted to drop everything and put all of my time, energy, and focus into making it big by winning American Idol, I would fail miserably (and probably be permanently red in the face from embarrassment). I might daydream about this happening, but that’s extremely unrealistic if I’m honest with myself.

But here’s what’s not unrealistic…

It’s not unrealistic to find something you’re good at/something you enjoy/some goal you want to reach and put the hard work in to excel in that area and reach those goals.

Let me repeat that in case you missed it.. put the hard work in to excel in that area and reach those goals. In other words, get up off of your butt and start doing whatever it is that you need to do in order to get to where you want to be. Stop wallowing in self pity and start accepting the hard fact of life which is that each of us creates our own reality.

I want everyone to grasp the fact that it’s okay to want things for ourselves. It’s also okay to become our best selves. And it’s okay to want to be better. Whatever that means for you.

It’s the most frustrating thing to me when someone feels incapable. To be real with you guys, it crushes me to hear that. When someone expresses a desire for something that he or she is perfectly capable of achieving, but thinks they can’t fulfill that. Or when a person lives vicariously through those who have already accomplished, or are in the process of accomplishing, those things that they “wish” they themselves could accomplish. Holy cow, I want to put an end to this way of thinking and living. It’s such a waste and it’s flat out toxic and wrong.

When you say, “I wish I…”, you’re basically saying that you don’t really want whatever it is that you apparently “wish” you had. You’re sending a message to yourself, and to others, that you aren’t willing to put the work in. Saying, “I wish I…” will not get you anywhere worth going.

If you’re reading this and you don’t agree with the message I’m trying to get across, then by all means, don’t let me stop you from cutting yourself short. But just know this: I think you’re worth more than that. I think each and every one of us owes it to ourselves to set goals and work hard to achieve them. And I will never not think this way. I think that if more people were to embrace this idea, then the world would be filled with much happier people. Because who doesn’t love the feeling of accomplishment?



2 thoughts on “You can.

  1. Emily…such s thought provoking piece of writing. So proud of you!

    Sent using OWA for iPhone ________________________________


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